Month: July 2023

As we choose to draw closer to God, it is common to experience some trepidation about how things will change for us.  

Early in my own walk with God, after receiving a message from Him on a highway of all places, I recorded these words in my journal:

“I think what makes me nervous about all of this is not being sure of the path I will walk, and who will walk with me. Help me to believe, and to not be afraid. And thank you for the angels You have already placed in my path.”

Jesus plainly tells us that to follow Him, we must be willing to place Him above all else in our lives:

“Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them He said, ‘If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.’” Luke 14: 25-27

These words recorded by St. Luke are so powerful. Educated as a physician in the Greek city of Antioch, which is part of modern-day Turkey, St. Luke is acknowledged by literature and archeology scholars alike as one of the top historians of his time. While some traditions espouse that Luke was a direct disciple of Jesus, others teach that Luke became a believer after the ascension of Jesus into heaven. However all agree that the precision and diligence of St. Luke in recording the history of Jesus is second to none, which makes this passage even more powerful.

Place yourself there in the scene that Luke describes:

The crowd is large and everyone is excited to be with Jesus. He proclaims to be the Son of God, as prophesied in the ancient texts of the Old Testament. With great authority and passion, Jesus teaches about the way to eternal life with God. When asked which of God’s commandments are the greatest, Jesus replies, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart; and love your neighbor as you love yourself.” (Matthew 22: 34-40)

You are there in the crowd, talking with the others – Yes, we can do this. We can love God and love one another. This doesn’t seem too difficult. We’ve got this! Let’s follow Jesus!

But then Jesus turns around and walks up to you, having overhead your conversation. He calls you by name and looks you squarely in the eyes, and says – You cannot be my disciple unless you are willing to love Me more than every other person – and every other thing – in your life. So if your spouse or your parents or your friends ask you not to follow Me, you must be willing to disobey them. And if I ask you to sell all the treasures you cherish and donate that money to the poor, you must be willing to do that. Do you understand what I am asking you to do? I want you to put Me first in your life. Do you still want to follow Me?  

His words are emotionally charged because Jesus is trying to make a point – If you want to share in the Kingdom of Heaven, then Jesus must come first. Period.

Sensing your hesitation, Jesus’ eyes never leave yours. You cannot find your words and your mind is racing – What?! Wait a minute … What about my family? My job? What about what I want? I thought we just had to love God and each other. What?!

You step back from Jesus and say to Him – Let me think about this a little more.

Jesus looks away for a moment and turns back to you, His eyes filled with emotion. He says quietly – Always know how much I love you. He then disappears into the crowd.

After all these years of loving Him, I can still find myself standing back there in the crowd, hesitant to acknowledge what He is placing on my heart. The noise of the crowd can be deafening. But I call for Him and above the noise, I hear Jesus’ voice:

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41: 10) I am faithful and will not allow you to be tested beyond your strength. (1 Corinthians 10: 13) Keep your faith in Me and you will be able to love and to do the things that I am doing. In fact, you will do even greater things than these. (John 14: 12) My grace is sufficient for you; understand that My power is made perfect in your weakness. (2 Corinthians 12: 9) So lay all your anxieties on Me because I care for you. (1 Peter 5: 7) Believe that whatever you ask of Me in prayer, it will be yours. (Mark 11: 24) Never, ever forget who you are. I have called you by name, and you are Mine.” (Isaiah 43: 1)

Following Jesus changes things for all of us, in ways big and small, every day of our lives. If we allow them to, these changes open our hearts and minds, enabling us to experience a fullness of life and love like nothing we have ever imagined.

Jesus loves us so much.

Pray for us, St. Luke, that we may always believe and trust in His Love.

“Having loved those who were His own in the world, He loved them [and continues to love with His Perfect Love] to the end [for all eternity]. John 13: 1

Love explained all for me, all was resolved by love, so this love I adore wherever it may be.

I am open space for a placid tide where no wave roars, clutching at rainbow branches. Now a soothing wave uncovers light in the deep and breathes light onto unsilvered leaves.

In such silence I hide, a leaf released from the wind, no longer anxious for the days that fall. They must all fall, I know.

St. John Paul II, The Place Within¹

¹St. John Paul II, “Shores of Silence,” in The Place Within: The Poetry of Pope John Paul II, Translated by Jerzy Peterkiewicz (New York: Random House, 1982), p. 6.

Learning to walk with and keep close to God – and to place my fears in God’s hands – continues to be a journey for me.

While Jesus lived and taught on earth, He made it a point to tell us that God does not want us to worry and to be loaded down with fear:

“’Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?’” Matthew 6: 25-27

The world can be a confusing and demanding place. I was raised in a loving and faithful family. And yet in my 20s and most of my 30s, I could feel myself growing distant from God. I was in and out of church. I would periodically ask God for help with decisions, but there never seemed to be enough time to wait on His answers. I am not even sure I expected that He would reply to my questions. Certainly, God had bigger, more important things to manage. I was running fast, trying to figure out things on my own.

When my marriage sadly ended in divorce, I separated even further from God. Through my divorce, I feared that I had committed a sin too grievous to be forgiven. More and more, I began to think of God solely as judge and jury, but not as Father and confidante. For some time, I toiled alone in the world, buried in my work and afraid to draw too close to anyone, including God, for fear that they would let me down – or even worse, that I would fail them.

One morning, sitting on my driveway, I read something in a book from my younger sister about how God does not merely want to help us to climb over and around the mountains in our lives – God wants to remove the mountains from our paths. What?! I thought about that as I watched water droplets glistening on the flowers in the early morning sunshine. My sister kept giving me books about God, and I am forever grateful to her for that. I wondered what it would be like to lean on Him.

Can I really turn my struggles and fears over to God? Does He want to be involved in my everyday life and work? How would placing my trust in God change things for me, and for those around me? Do I want to become vulnerable again by leaning on someone else, even if that someone else is God?

As my fear swelled up, I tried to shrug off the notion of inviting God into my world. I remained fairly certain that God was focused on more important things. I also worried that He was still disappointed in me about the divorce. And yet I closed my eyes and wished, with all my heart, that God could hear and help me.

Can I lean on You, God? Are You really there? Will you help me? I need Your help.

And then, I felt God wash over my heart.

I suddenly realized I was not alone. I opened my eyes, looking all around. In a way that I cannot fully describe, I felt God’s presence so distinctly. With His presence came a deep, unfamiliar sense of peace.

I felt loved, completely.

I closed my eyes again and silently asked God to walk with me and to help me.

And then I waited. I was not sure what would happen next, but I knew He was still with me on that driveway. I sat there quietly in His Presence for some time.

Somewhere deep inside, I sensed my life was about to change. I decided to not allow my fears to deter any changes that God wanted to make in my life. As long as I live, I will never forget that morning. God responded to my cry for help in full love, just as He responds to all who call for Him. His Love continues to change the path of my life, as I learn more and more to place my trust in Him every day.

Years later, I now understand that the only reasonable fear any of us should possess is the fear of separating ourselves from the love and peace of God. In fact, our Parish Pastor recently said these words to us:

“Never let anything or anyone come between your soul and Jesus. Never, ever let yourself become separated from God. The only thing that we should fear is not finding our way to eternal life with the Father.”

Our Pastor’s words made me think of that morning on my driveway.

God loves all of us so much. And yes, we should have no doubt that God will be the final judge of our lives and hearts, for the Bible’s writers tell us this throughout the Old and New Testaments:

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” 2 Corinthians 5: 10

The Bible’s writers also tell us over and again that God is a Father of Mercy:

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him.” Isaiah 30: 18 … “And His mercy is for those who fear Him from generation to generation.” Luke 1: 50

God loves you so deeply. Always know that.

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. Look to Him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.” Psalm 34: 4-7

Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing upset you. Everything changes. God alone is unchanging. With patience and love all things are possible. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone is enough.

St. Teresa of Avila, Spain

On my knees in the garden, I slowly turn the rich, fertile dirt with my hand shovel. The trees behind me are alive with an impromptu concert of birds singing their sweet songs. I hear the snap of a stick breaking and stop digging so that I can concentrate fully on listening. I close my eyes and remain still, with my back to the trees. A few more sticks snap as the Mama deer and her fawn draw closer to me. Our woods is their home during the summer, and I have come to know the sounds of the deer walking there.

I remain still and silent, with my back to the trees. Soon I hear the small warning snort from the Mama deer. She has spotted me in my garden. I hear the rush of their bodies running back through the woods and away from me. I smile as I think of their gentle beauty.

My thoughts turn then to you, Father, and the story of You walking in the Garden of Eden, looking for Adam and Eve:

“And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, ‘Where are you?’ And he said, ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.’ He [the Lord God] said, ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?’ The man said, ‘The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.’ Then the Lord God said to the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’” Genesis 3: 8-13

A tragedy is unfolding there. You can hear the agony in God’s voice as He realizes that Adam and Eve have eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil – the one tree from which He has forbidden them to eat. God has told Adam that if he eats from the tree, “you will surely die.” (Genesis 2: 15-17) As we know, later on, the serpent tricks Eve into believing that she will not die if she eats from the tree, but rather will become like God, “knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3: 1-6)

We are witnessing the fall of humanity in these verses.

But take heart and look closely again at the Scripture verses above in italics. These verses reveal that before the fall, the sound of God walking in the garden was familiar to Adam and Eve. They knew the sound of God’s footsteps and of His voice. Perhaps the three met in the garden every day, in the coolness of the early evening, to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. These verses undeniably reveal that in the beginning, God intended to have a direct and physical relationship with His creation. Let your heart contemplate this stunning reality for a moment.

Can you imagine hearing God’s footsteps drawing near to you? Or walking and talking with Him, outside among the trees and the birds, as the day closes? Can you imagine the sound of His voice? Or the sound of His laughter?

I treasure these verses in Genesis because they confirm that God wants a very personal and full relationship with us. He wants to love us and to be loved by us.

And yet from the very beginning of the Bible, within the Book of Genesis (the first book of the Old Testament), we are taught that the potential for love can only exist alongside the potential for rejection. True love can never be forced.

It is humbling to realize that even God – our Creator who forms us from the dust of the ground and literally breathes into our nostrils the breath of life (Genesis 2: 7) – cannot force us to love Him. God has given us the gift of free will. Because of this, the choice between death and immortality is set before each one of us.

We must consciously choose to love – to love the Father, and to love one another.

God understands that we do not always make good choices. It is striking to observe that as soon as sin enters the world through Adam and Eve, God introduces His plan for the gift of redemption:

“And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.” Genesis 3: 15

For centuries now, Christian scholars and theologians have viewed this text as a foreshadowing of the Gospel of Jesus Christ – and in particular, of Jesus’ victory over Satan. From that moment onward, the world’s faithful have lived with the hope and promise of redemption.

God loves us so much. Despite what must have been His immense sadness over the choices made by Adam and Eve, Genesis 3 concludes with these words:

“The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. And the Lord God said, ‘The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.’ So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he has been taken. After He drove the man out, He placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.” Genesis 3: 21-24

I imagine tears streaming down God’s cheeks as he prepares some clothing for Adam and Eve. Shortly thereafter, God tells His beloved creation that they must leave the paradise He has created for them. After Adam and Eve leave the Garden of Eden, God then separates physically from His human creation. His daily walks and talks with Adam and Eve seem to end. The stories of the Old Testament testify to the agony of this self-imposed separation from God the Father.

And yet the promise and hope of redemption remains strong throughout the Old Testament. The ancient prophet Micah prophesies about God’s return to the physical earth, through His Son, Jesus:

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.” Micah 5: 2

The return of Jesus to the earth fulfills God’s promises of love and redemption.

I am sitting now in my garden, with my eyes on the path that leads into the woods. The journey of life, while beautiful, is filled with choices. The world can be a confusing place and not all choices are simple and straight-forward. We must all watch for the little signs from Jesus that appear everywhere. We must listen for the words that the Holy Spirit places on our hearts. And if we find ourselves becoming distracted and slipping away from God, we must go running back to Him.

He is always, always there waiting for us and loving us deeply.

I am praying, for you and for me, that throughout our lives, we experience the grace of holiness and  love. I pray that at the end of our lives, we hear God’s footsteps quickening in the Garden, as He calls us each by name, to eternal life with Him.

I am forever grateful that we have Jesus to lead us home.

We are loved, deeply.

Jesus, the Good Shepherd

You are my trusted shepherd, Jesus, and because of this, there is nothing that I want. You prepare a resting place for me in green pastures and lead me beside quiet waters, and You restore my soul when I am sad and weary.

Jesus, you guide me plainly along the paths of goodness and light, and I follow you freely, for even the whisper of Your name brings me indescribable joy. I am not afraid, as I walk through the valley of darkness, for I know that You are with me; I am comforted by the knowledge that you will correct and guide me as I make my way.

You prepare a table before me, filling my heart with peace in the presence of those who would mock and hate me. You anoint my head with the finest of oil; my heart overflows with the knowledge of Your love for me. I am confident that your goodness and love will follow me, all the days of my life, and I long to dwell with you in Paradise, forever. Thank you for loving me, Jesus.

– Author’s adaptation of Psalm 23

When I find myself wanting to encounter God in a more direct way, I head outside. God is always there, waiting for me to find a place to sit and settle myself – and to let go of myself – so that He can fill up my ears with the sweet songs of the birds and the wisdom of the trees.

It is when I step away from myself and into nature that I am most able to observe His ways.

Mary Oliver, an American poet who won the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize, wrote tirelessly about the wonders of nature. Although she did not appear to prescribe to any particular religion, her writing became more and more spiritual as the years passed. She died in 2019, at the age of 83.

I cherish her poetry because over and again, she reminds her readers that the answers we seek are right before us, within our natural world. We just need to step outside and slow down – way down – and open our hearts to what God is trying to show us.

“At The River Clarion,” from Evidence, Poems by Mary Oliver¹

1. I don’t know who God is exactly. But I’ll tell you this. I was sitting in the river named Clarion, on a water splashed stone and all afternoon I listened to the voices of the river talking. Whenever the water struck the stone it had something to say, and the water itself, and even the mosses trailing under the water.

And slowly, very slowly, it became clear to me what they were saying. Said the river: I am part of the holiness. And I too, said the stone. And I too, whispered the moss beneath the water.

I’d been to the river before, a few times. Don’t blame the river that nothing happened quickly. You don’t hear such voices in an hour or a day. You don’t hear them at all if selfhood has stuffed your ears. And it’s difficult to hear anything anyway, through all the traffic, and ambition.

2. If God exists he isn’t just butter and good luck. He’s also the tick that killed my wonderful dog Luke. Said the river: imagine everything you can imagine, then keep on going.

Imagine how the lily (who may also be a part of God) would sing to you if she could sing, if you would pause to hear it. And how are you so certain anyway that it doesn’t sing?

If God exists, he isn’t just churches and mathematics. He’s the forest. He’s the desert. He’s the ice caps, that are dying. He’s the ghetto and the Museum of Fine Arts.

He’s van Gogh and Allen Ginsberg and Robert Motherwell. He’s the many desperate hands, cleaning and preparing their weapons. He’s every one of us, potentially. The leaf of grass, the genius, the politician, the poet. And if this is true, isn’t it something very important?

Yes, it could be that I am a tiny piece of God, and each of you too, or at least of his intention and his hope. Which is a delight beyond measure. I don’t know how you get to suspect such an idea. I only know that the river kept singing. It wasn’t a persuasion, it was all the river’s own constant joy which was better by far than a lecture, which was comfortable, exciting, unforgettable.

3. Of course for each of us, there is the daily life. Let us live it, gesture by gesture. When we cut the ripe melon, should we not give it thanks? And should we not thank the knife also? We do not live in a simple world.

4. There was someone I loved who grew old and ill. One by one I watched the fires go out. There was nothing I could do except to remember that we receive then we give back.

5. My dog Luke lies in a grave in the forest, she is given back. But the river Clarion still flows from wherever it comes from to where it has been told to go. I pray for the desperate earth. I pray for the desperate world. I do the little each person can do, it isn’t much. Sometimes the river murmurs, sometimes it raves.

6. Along its shores were, may I say, very intense cardinal flowers. And trees, and birds that have wings to uphold them, for heaven’s sakes – the lucky ones: they have such deep natures, they are so happily obedient. While I sit here in a house filled with books, ideas, doubts, hesitations.

7. And still, pressed deep into my mind, the river keeps coming, touching me, passing by on its long journey, its pale, infallible voice singing.

¹Mary Oliver, “At the River Clarion,” in Evidence: Poems by Mary Oliver (Massachusetts: Beacon Press, 2009), pp. 51-54.

How do those of us who desire to know and love God find Him?

Moses, the leader of the Israelites in their exodus from Egyptian slavery and oppression and the faithful believer to whom God revealed His Ten Commandments, confirms that anyone who sincerely desires to know God can find Him, even if we have gone astray:

“The Lord will scatter you among the peoples, and only a few of you will survive among the nations to which the Lord will drive you. There you will worship man-made gods of wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or eat or smell. But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him, if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey Him. For the Lord your God is a merciful God; He will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which He confirmed to them by oath.” Deuteronomy 4: 27-31

I relish these ancient words from Moses. Although we may not worship stone or wood idols today, all of us, at one time or another, have likely allowed things or people in our lives to become more important than our relationships with God. And yet even when this happens, Moses confirms that God is still willing to enter into — or re-enter — relationship with us. Why? Because His love and mercy for us is boundless.

So many of us who search for God expect that the journey to know Him will be arduous. Some of us travel to far distant lands, in search of God. Others spend years immersed in formal study. And still others participate in various bible studies or religious retreats. We join churches and participate in weekly worship. There is so much goodness in all of these things – and certainly, these activities can enable us to build relationships with other followers who seek to know God and to live holy lives. So these are all good things!

But we do not need to travel far or study long to find God. We do not need to wait for Sunday Mass to speak with God. We simply need to call for Him, from our hearts, and then await His reply. God is so near to each one of us. He wants to be a part of all of our days. He loves us and wants us to know His goodness. This is hard for us to understand.

Centuries after Moses lived, St. Paul, one of Christ’s earliest followers and missionaries, confirmed that God is, indeed, very near to all of us:

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man He made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” Acts 17: 24-27

St. Paul is plainly saying to us – Do you want to know Jesus? He has been waiting for you! Go to Him, right where you are, through your heart. Believe in Him. Listen for Him. Depend on Him. Trust what God places on your heart.

In the early 1930s, Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska captured these words from Jesus in her diary, as a young nun of the Congregation of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy in Poland:

“’I will tell you most when you converse with Me in the depths of your heart. Here, no one can disturb My actions. Here, I rest as in a garden enclosed.¹’”

If you want to know God, find a quiet spot and listen for what He places on your heart.

God is waiting for you to seek Him.

Turn to Him each day, multiple times a day.

Never doubt how much God wants to be a part of your life.

“You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29: 13

¹Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska: Divine Mercy in My Soul (Massachusetts: Marian Press, 2020), Verse 581, pg. 245.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus confirms again that only in knowing and loving Him, will we find our purpose:  

“’Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.’” Matthew 10: 37-39

In this passage, Jesus is unequivocally telling his disciples that to live a life of purpose – to understand and embrace the plans that God has for each one of our lives (Jeremiah 29: 11-14) – we must place the pursuit of knowing and following Jesus above all else.

Still today, in our modern and noisy world, Jesus yearns to call each one of us to be His beloved disciple.

It is powerful and humbling to reflect on this. We are living in an era where self-interestedness and selfishness and inconsiderateness seem to be at an all-time high. People everywhere – myself included – seem to be on this never-ending search for the one thing that will make us fulfilled and happy.

What should we do with our lives? How can we make a difference? What will our legacy be?

We run through our days, chasing after things that so often merely exhaust us. The days of chase turn into months, and the months turn into years. And because we are so focused on ourselves, the hole within our hearts only grows larger.

But these words from Jesus ground me. They remind me that JESUS is the ONE THING I seek. His words encourage me to slow down and to turn to Him first, as I plan my days. His Words remind me that this search is not about me. Only Jesus can and will lead me to the God-given purpose for my life that I long for with my whole being.

As I read His words, I understand how much Jesus wants me to walk with Him. His Promise lifts me up because it reveals that the entire reason I am here is to seek Jesus, and to know His Love. It is that simple, and that profound.

He is standing beside me, as I type these words to you. He is standing beside you, as you read these words. His dreams and plans for both of us are so good … so beautiful.

Am I finally willing to lay down my own plans and to accept His greater plans for my life?

The choice is mine to make.

The choice is yours to make.

Jesus loves us so much.

A simple prayer for us:

Dear Holy Spirit, please work within our hearts, so that Jesus remains the sole object of our desires. Please reside within our minds, filling us in particular with greater patience and humility. Please call us to sit quietly with Jesus every day and to open our souls fully to the love and dreams He yearns to share with us. Please lead us to Jesus, Holy Spirit.