Author: Heart and Soul (Page 2 of 9)

As promised, here is a story about the face-to-face encounter I had with my guardian angel.

I was living in a new city, with a new job, trying to put my life back together after a divorce. It was late on a Saturday afternoon and I was restless. I grabbed Chloe’s leash, my much loved Labrador Retriever, and we headed outside for a walk.

Not far into our walk a man approached us. He looked to be my age. I had not seen him before in the neighborhood. There was a gentleness about him and I noticed that Chloe was immediately drawn to him. The man asked if he could pet Chloe. I agreed and stood there watching and smiling quietly, as Chloe soaked up all the attention in the way that Labs do.

The man and I exchanged some random words. He then looked up at the sky. It was such a vivid sky that day — bright blue, with big, white puffy clouds. He said, “We should be so grateful for this day and its beauty. We should remember it’s because of Jesus Christ that we have this day to enjoy. He loves us so much.”

He quietly turned his gaze back to me. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. His eyes were fixed intently upon me. I felt my back stiffen. I tugged on Chloe’s leash and stepped back, putting some distance between myself and this man. I thought to myself, “Oh great, just what I need. I meet a cut guy and he turns out to be a religious nut. No thanks.”

I excused myself and quickly walked away. Chloe and I looked back at him a couple times. He stood there, watching us walk away. I remember feeling alone in the world that day.

As evening came, I turned on the TV in my family room. I was sitting on the sofa; Chloe was stretched out by the tall, two-story windows that looked over the backyard. Suddenly, I began to hear things dropping on my roof, and I realized that my ceiling was starting to moan. Chloe stood up and started to walk toward me, her expression puzzled. I began to stand as well.

And then our world literally crashed around us.

A large, dead oak tree at the back of the property had fallen over onto the roof of my townhome. The ground was wet from the Spring rains and the tree had shifted in the unstable ground. I remember the thunderous groans as the ceiling gave way. I remember the smell of dirt and the feel of large pieces of tree and ceiling falling on me. And then I remember the silence.

When I woke up, I was at the edge of the family room. I could see men’s feet inside my home. I crawled out from under the rubble and stood up. The tree had just missed the main support beam of my home. Miraculously, the rest of the structure was still standing. But the two-story family room was a twisted mass of tree and building materials.

Chloe was in that twisted mass. I screamed her name over and over, grabbing frantically at tree limbs that were impossible to move. The trunk of the massive tree had measured four feet in diameter. At one point, I faintly heard Chloe’s collar jingle. But then I was being pulled away from the tree limbs and Chloe, into my garage. I could smell smoke.

God, no … please don’t let there be a fire, I prayed.

There was so much chaos — fire trucks and police cars were arriving. My brother-in-law came as well. I could feel his quiet strength beside me. The silence remained deafening.

Several hours late, a fireman emerged from the mass of tree limbs, with Chloe in his arms. He held Chloe closely, as he might have held a child. He was speaking softly to her, as he walked over to me. Chloe looked so beautiful. She didn’t have a scratch on her. The fireman placed Chloe firmly on the ground and she began walking around. Chloe and I and my brother-in-law turned in silence and walked away from the chaos, together.

A week later, I was back in the neighborhood. I looked up and saw the man I had met that Saturday afternoon before the tree fell. He was across the pond from me, walking near the water. I felt my breath catch as I looked briefly down at the ground. Thoughts rushed my mind —

Oh my gosh, there’s that guy again. The one who was talking about Jesus. I think I should say something to him. Who is he? Why do I feel like I want to cry?

I took a deep breath and looked up. He was gone. My eyes scanned the water and nearby townhomes. It was like he had vanished into thin air. Where had he gone? I had not heard any doors closing or cars pulling away. An uneasy feeling stirred deeply inside of me.

I thought about that man a lot in the weeks following the tree incident. Did I really see him again? Why was he talking to me about Jesus that Saturday afternoon? Why did I pull away from him? And why, a few hours later, was my home destroyed, with Chloe and I narrowly escaping?

Was this man an angel? Do angels even exist?

After the accident, I remember wondering why God had preserved my life — and Chloe’s life. Does God want a deeper relationship with me? Isn’t God angry with me about the divorce? My life feels like a mess right now. What could God possibly want or need from me?

I had so many questions.

But I also now carried a tiny seed of hope that had been planted firmly in my heart. The man I had encountered on my walk had distinctly said to me, “Jesus loves us so much.”

In my mind, I could still see the man’s face as he spoke those words.

It would take me three years to understand that this man was indeed my guardian angel. He appeared as pure Light, during a dark time in my life, to assure me that all was not lost.

Yes, a door had sadly closed in my life, but a new and richer life with God was emerging. My guardian angel was out ahead, helping to clear the way for me.

I remain profoundly grateful for the presence of angels. Never, ever doubt that there are angels all around you, trying to show you the way over, around or through whatever obstacle in life you are navigating.

Call to your guardian angels. The angels are sent by God the Father to help us.

I continue to watch for the face of my guardian angel. It’s been twenty years since I saw him. I know that he remains by my side today. I am profoundly grateful for his presence in my life.

There is a guardian angel by your side as well.

God loves us so much.

“Beyond the moon and stars, as deep as night,
So great our hunger, Lord, to see your light.
The sparrow finds her home beneath your wing,
So may we come to rest where angels sing.”¹

¹ Dan Schutte, “Beyond the Moon and Start,” Track #1 on Walking the Sacred Path, Pilgrim Music, 2009, compact disc.

I awoke today with angels on my heart. Angels are all around us, desiring to protect us and, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to reveal to us all that we are — and that we can be — in Christ.

These past several months, I have been searching more deeply again for answers about angels. This recent search has been inspired by a book I received — Where Angels Walk: True Stories of Heavenly Visitors, by New York Times Bestselling Author Joan Wester Anderson.¹

Joan began writing in the early 1970s, as a way to generate additional income for her family. In 1992, after her children had completed college and moved away, she decided to write one last book to thank God for an amazing miracle one of her sons had experienced. It is purported that Joan was feeling it was time for her to make a change as well — perhaps it was time to return to college and think about a new career of her own. But first, she would write this next book.

The book that Joan wrote was Where Angels Walk. The book was a success, and she continued on to write many more books about angels, establishing herself as a respected authority on the presence of angels in our lives. Joan passed away on March 1, 2023, at the age of 84.

Joan’s book connected her with people who had experienced moving encounters with these beautiful and powerful creatures. Her book begins with a description of her early investigation into angels. Here is an excerpt:

“Angels are mentioned more than three hundred times in Sacred Scripture … My investigations revealed that, whatever their beginnings, angels have three basic purposes: to worship God, to serve as heralds between God and His people on earth, and to act as our caretakers, while never interfering with our free will. Saint Dionysius, Saint Paul, Pope Gregory, and others further divide angels into nine choirs, listed here in descending order, along with their main duties: Seraphim and Cherubim, who love and worship God; Thrones and Dominions, who regulate angelic duties; Virtues, who work miracles on earth; Powers, who protect us from demons; Principalities, Archangels and Angels, who are ministers and guardians of people. The four Archangels best known to us are Raphael, Michael, Gabriel, and Uriel. Their numbers seem to be infinite, though, and throughout history, others have also been named. One of the oldest shrines in Turkey is dedicated to Michael, who is considered a great healer to the sick in that nation.”²

Have you encountered an angel in your life? I think we all encounter angels regularly. Whether or not we are open to what they are trying to show us is another matter entirely. As Joan indicates, angels, like God, will never interfere with our free will. We must decide whether or not we respond to those things that the angels — and the Holy Spirit — place on our hearts and in our minds.

Angels remind us that our most important struggles on earth are not with physical things — our struggles are not with flesh and blood. Our most important struggles are with those things that play out within the spiritual realm. Yes, we are flesh and blood, as humans. But Jesus, through His immense Mercy and Love, offers each of us the chance to be born again, of water and the Spirit.

Here’s what Jesus told Nicodemus about the importance and power of being born again in the Spirit. Nicodemus was an important member of the religious ruling class who came to Jesus late one night, with questions about the miracles that Jesus was performing. How was Jesus performing these miracles? Was Jesus in fact the Son of God? Nicodemus was carrying around some heavy burdens, given his prestigious role in the community. Jesus was not making things any easier for him. People had lots of questions about Jesus. Nicodemus was struggling to provide answers. He must have felt incredibly anxious about remaining in control of the growing curiosities and uncertainties about Jesus. Who was Jesus?

But Jesus saw through Nicodemus’ title and role and fears — and straight into his heart. Jesus knew that Nicodemus was trying to move forward solely on the physical plane. Nicodemus was not understanding that the real battle — and the real power — lies within the spiritual realm. Here’s an excerpt of what Jesus said to Nicodemus:

Jesus answered, “‘I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to Spirit. You should not be surprised at My saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” John 3: 5-8

If we’re not careful, our physical lives with all its distractions and responsibilities can get in the way of our spiritual lives. It matters that we make time to cultivate our spiritual lives. It is the spiritual life, centered on our relationship with God, that enables us to make a new start in building an eternal life. It is our spiritual life that enables us to make good decisions and to navigate even the most difficult of days with joy and peace.

The angels moving all around us are sent by God as messengers, calling all of us to be born again of the Spirit. The angels are calling all each one of us to put on the “spiritual armor” of God, so that we may move beyond any physical difficulties and into the spiritual life and love that God plans for all of us.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” Ephesians 6: 12-13

St. Paul also reminds us that we are body, spirit and soul —

“May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5: 23-24

In my next post, I will share a story of an encounter I had with my guardian angel. I did not immediately recognize him, but I have searched for his face over and again, ever since that first encounter twenty years ago. I know that he is by my side even now, as I write this post.

¹Joan Wester Anderson, Where Angels Walk: True Stories of Heavenly Visitors (New York: Ballantine Books, 1993).

²Ibid, 8-10.

“Because He is Love in its essence, God appears before the angels … as a sun. And from that sun, heat and light go forth; the heat being Love and the light, Wisdom. And the angels [become] Love and Wisdom, not from themselves but from from the Lord.“

Emanuel Swedenborg, Angelic Wisdom

Today is the Catholic feast day of the Holy Guardian Angels. Angels are referenced throughout the Bible, and as a young child, I was taught that every individual soul has a guardian angel.

One description of the role angels play can be found in St. Paul’s Letter to the Hebrews:

“But to which of the angels has He ever said: ‘Sit at my right hand, until I make your enemies your footstool?’ Are they not all ministering spirits sent to serve, for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation?” Hebrews 1: 13-14

Angels are all around us, waiting to lead us to Your love.

St. Augustine of Hippo also wrote poignantly about angels. He described in detail their existence “beyond the firmament” — or in other words, beyond the veil that separates the physical and spiritual worlds. Here’s an excerpt:

“Other waters [and beings] there are above this firmament, I believe, immortal and kept free from earthly corruption. Let them praise Your name. Let the supercelestial peoples, who are Your angels, praise You, they who have no need to look up at this firmament, or by reading to know Your Word. They always behold Your face, and, without any syllables of time, they read upon it what Your eternal will decrees. They read Your will; they choose it; and they love it. They read forever, and what they read never passes away. For, by choosing and loving, they read the actual immutability of Your counsel. Their book is never closed, nor is their scroll folded up, because You Yourself are this to them, and You are this for eternity. For You have set them in order above this firmament, which You have made firm above the infirmity of a lower race, where they might look upwards and know Your mercy, telling in time of You who made all times.”¹

Angels are all around us, desiring to reveal all that You are.

It is beautiful to ponder, how all of this works together.

¹The Confessions of Saint Augustine, translated by John K. Ryan (New York: Image Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, a Penguin Random House Company, 2014), pages 313-314.

Do you ever have weeks where you feel like you’ve taken two steps forward in faith and three steps backward? You wake up one morning and feel the voice of God so distinctly within your heart. You follow His gentle commands all day and fall asleep in peace that evening.

But then the next day you wake up worried about something you have no chance of controlling. You rush into the day, so caught up in this “thing” that you cannot stand still for even one minute, to wait for the Lord. Early in the afternoon, when you hear God whispering within your heart, you ignore Him because you think you’ve already found a solution and can go it alone.

Sound familiar? I spend a lot of weeks this way. And when I read the Book of Numbers in the Old Testament, I realize that I am not alone.

The Book of Numbers — and the first five books of the Old Testament overall — are a compelling read. The Book of Numbers starts with Moses taking a census of the people of Israel. Push through those initial chapters because the story soon picks back up with Israel’s journey to the Promised Land, following their escape from slavery in Egypt. With the help of God, Moses is leading the people through the desert and into the land of Canaan.

It’s a great story and a long journey — 40 years, to be precise. The Israelites experience highs and lows, as they struggle with learning to trust in God every day. It’s hard to imagine the spectacular displays of God’s power the Israelites witness as they make their journey. God physically parts the Red Sea, enabling their escape from the Egyptians who are pursuing them. (Exodus 14: 21-31) He appears to them in the form of a cloud each morning and a column of fire each evening. (Numbers 9: 15-23) Through Moses, God reveals the Ten Commandments. (Exodus 19 & 20)

And yet at times even Moses, God’s faithful and loving servant, stumbles and seems to lose his trust in God. How can this happen, when God is so close to Moses and His people?

God is equally near to us. Why are we afraid to believe what God promises?

The Book of Numbers reminds me that we are all wandering through our deserts of faith, on our way home to the Father. Our hearts and bodies are weak, which causes us to lose faith in God. We veer off course, which frustrates Him and us.

We know that God created us in His own image (Genesis 1: 26-27, 31), and we see His emotions on full display within the Book of Numbers, and frankly throughout the Bible. What I see most clearly through the Book of Numbers is the immense love and mercy of God, as He never tires in attempting to draw us back to Him.

I particularly treasure the story of the 70 elders (Numbers 11: 10-30). Moses is overwhelmed and exhausted with the responsibility of caring for this often difficult group of people. He cries out to God, asking for help. God instructs Moses to choose 70 men to become elders of the people; and He promises to fill these leaders with His Spirit so that they can help Moses to lead.

Moses does as he is told, but two of the men — one named Eldad and another named Medad — are not present in the tent with Moses and the others, when God’s Spirit descends upon them. Where were those two men, I wonder? What could they possibly have been doing that was more important than what was happening in that tent?!

And yet God still sends His Spirit to them, meeting Eldad and Medad where they are outside the tent. Amazingly, these men also begin to prophesy and lead. This causes a stir amond the other 68 elders who were inside the tent, but Moses quiets them by pointing out how much easier this journey would be if all of God’s people were prophets filled with the Spirit!

This brief story about Eldad and Medad is precious to me because it assures me of how much God loves us. Even when we are too busy to stop for Him, God comes looking for us, showering us with every goodness — and giving us another chance to be good, to do good, and to return to Him.

The Bible clearly shows us that there are repercussions for not listening to and following God’s commands for our lives. The decision to ignore God’s voice prevents us from experiencing His goodness right now, here on earth. Do we fully grasp this? Even Moses is ultimately denied entry into the Promised Land of Canaan because he disobeys God’s instruction for bringing water out of a rock. (Numbers 20: 1-13)

There are a series of moments in Moses’ life where his trust wavers, culminating in the incident at the rock. And yet we know that God loved Moses so deeply. As Moses nears death, God tells him to go up the mountain of the Abarim, Mount Nebo, which is in the land of Moab, opposite Jericho (Deuteronomy 32: 48-50), so that Moses can at least see the land of Canaan before He dies. God is with Moses, there on the mountain, when he dies. (Deuteronomy 34: 1-8)

God loves you deeply as well. He is there beside you now, as you wander through this day and life. He observes all of our hearts, on some level, searching for purpose and fulfillment. God knows that only His Purpose for our lives can bring us the joy and peace and love that we yearn for most deeply. (Proverbs 19:21)

God knows there will be times when we turn away from Him, for many different reasons. Help us to undertand and trust, Father, that we can always, always turn back to You.

Help us to know that you are always here, calling us back to You, and wanting nothing more than to love us.

“Come back to me, with all your heart; don’t let fear keep us apart.”¹

¹Gregory Norbet, “Hosea,” © 1972, 1980, The Benedictine Foundation of the State of Vermont, Inc. Here is a beautiful rendition of the song performed by Eliot Morris.

I call upon You, my God, my Mercy (Psalm 58: 18), who made me, and did not forget me, although I forgot You.

I call You into my soul, which You prepare to accept You by the longing that You breathe into it.

Do not desert me now when I call upon You, for before I called upon You, You went ahead and helped me (Isaiah 64: 4), and repeatedly You urged me on by many different words, so that from afar I would hear You, and be converted, and call upon You as You called to me.

For You have wiped away my evil deserts, O Lord, so as not to return them to these hands of mine, whereby I fell away from You, and You went ahead and helped me in all my good deserts, so that You could restore them to Your own hands, whereby You made me.¹

¹The Confessions of Saint Augustine, translated by John K. Ryan (New York: Image Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, a Penguin Random House Company, 2014), page 302.

On August 28, the Catholic Church celebrated the Feast Day of St. Augustine of Hippo. Recognized both within and outside of the Catholic Church as one of the greatest philosophers and theologians of all time, St. Augustine is perhaps best known for two writings: Confessions, which details the very personal drama of his faith journey; and The City of God, which explores the complex relationship between the heavenly city of God and the earthly city of the Church.

The third writing for which St. Augustine is well known is titled, The Trinity, or De Trinitate, in which he examines the history of God — and in particular, the dramatic revelation of The Holy Trinity: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

The concept of God as three persons is hard to understand! It is one of the true mysteries of our faith. St. Augustine took 30 years to write The Trinity. It is interesting to think about what it must have been like, for this brilliant and faithful man, to grapple with the mystery of the Trinity. There is a beautiful story about an event that happened to St. Augustine, while he was working on the piece:

Augustine was walking along the seashore one day, thinking about and trying to understand the mystery of the Holy Trinity. He saw a small boy running back and forth from the water to a spot on the seashore. The boy was using a seashell to carry the water from the ocean and to place it into a small hole in the sand.

Augustine approached the child and asked, “My boy, what are doing?”

“I am trying to bring all the sea into this hole,” the boy replied with a sweet smile.

“But that is impossible, my dear child, the hole cannot contain all that water,” said Augustine.

The boy paused in his work, stood up, looked into the eyes of the Saint, and replied, “It is no more impossible than what you are trying to do – comprehend the immensity of the mystery of the Holy Trinity with your small intelligence.”

Augustine was absorbed by such a keen response from the child. He turned his eyes from the child for a short while. When he glanced down to ask him something else, the boy had vanished.

Some say that it was an angel sent by God to teach Augustine a lesson on pride in learning.

Perhaps the angel was sent by Jesus, reminding Augustine of the importance of remaining humble — and of retaining our childlike wonder. It is through wonder and humility that we draw ever closer to God:

For Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18: 3-4

Note: Abraham Willaerts was a Dutch Baroque painter, mostly of marine and harbor scenes, who lived and worked in the 1600s. He painted the beautiful image above of St. Augustine and the small boy.

“Give me Yourself, O my God, give Yourself to me. Behold I love You, and if my love is too weak a thing, grant me to love You more strongly. I cannot measure my love to know how much it falls short of being sufficient, but let my soul hasten to Your embrace and never be turned away until it is hidden in the secret shelter of Your Presence.

“This only do I know, that it is not good for me when You are not with me, when You are only outside me. I want You in my very self. All the plenty in the world which is not my God is utter want. Amen.”

St. Augustine

Sometimes late at night, as I sift through the day’s happenings, I find myself wondering why I rushed through the day as a solitary soul, disconnected from Jesus and from others? Why do I keep trying to go it alone?

Often, in these moments, I become aware of how near Jesus is to me and to all of us. Sometimes, I sense the presence of my guardian angel; or recall the memory of a loved one and something they taught me.

All of us are so intimately connected with one another (John 15: 12-13) and with God (John 15: 5). There are angels all around us, protecting and guiding us. (Psalm 91: 11-12) We are also connected with those who have died and are now alive in Christ, in heaven. (1 Cor 12: 12-13).

The Bible tells us that the veil between heaven and earth is thin:

“And He will destroy on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples, the veil that is spread over all nations. He will swallow up death for ever, and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of His people He will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken.” (Isaiah 25: 7-8) “Yet He is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17: 27)

God is so near to us. Why do we hold back and try to go it alone?

I asked a friend once what she thought about heaven. We were sitting on my back porch, enjoying a beautiful summer evening. She replied, “Heaven is not this far off place. I think it is right here.”

She reached out with her hand, into the summer air, and said, “All those we have loved and lost through death are still here. We just don’t see them because we are relying on our physical senses. As adults, we have trained ourselves not to look beyond the possibilities of the physical world – and we have definitely trained ourselves not to ask for God’s love. But all that love – God’s love, the love of friends and family who are still with us in this world, and the love of those who have passed on from this life – all that love is right beside us and within us.”

All that love is within our reach. The veil is so thin.

It was years later until I fully grasped what my friend had been trying to tell me. My father was very ill and in treatment for a Stage 4 cancer. I was crossing three states on a regular basis to be with him and my mother for the treatments. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. And I was afraid. I am the one who always fixes things, and I could not fix this.

I crawled into bed late one night. I was staying with my parents. My father had received a treatment that day. It had been a tough day. I was crying as I started to drift toward sleep. I begged Jesus to help me, and I suddenly began to experience a deep peace. I had never felt anything like it. I could feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into that loving peace. I felt like I was floating toward something that I could not see.

I could feel myself letting go and this startled me! I sat up boltright in my bed. What just happened? Was I dreaming? But then I realized it was Jesus, flooding my heart with His Mercy and Love. I became calm and understood that I was not alone. I did not need to have all the answers.

I began to lean on Jesus a lot more, as we navigated my father’s treatment. Things became a little easier.

Months later, as I thought about that night, I remembered what my friend had said about heaven, and how thin that veil is between our earthly lives and Jesus.

All that Love and Joy is within our reach. We don’t have to go it alone.

It’s easy to forget, sometimes, why Jesus came to earth, and why He is still here among us. If we place our trust in Him — if we give Him our dreams and fears and hopes and worries — nothing can keep us from the Love and Mercy of God.

The wonder of all that He is still comes to me in waves.

“‘Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.'” Matthew 11: 28

“What is grace?” I asked God.

And He said,

“All that happens.”

Then He added, when I looked perplexed,

“Could not lovers say that every moment in their Beloved’s arms was grace? Existence is My Arms, though I well understand how one can turn away from Me until the heart has wisdom.”

— St. John of the Cross