As the week closes, my thoughts remain on Monday’s Mass, during which my friend professed his Final Vows, after 22 years as a Jesuit priest. I wrote about the experience earlier this week. Here is a broader excerpt from his closing comments:

“It is at the edge of our capacities that we encounter the Christ. It’s in coming to know our frailty that we come to understand the Grace, and that which is constantly calling us forward into greater fullness.”

I have been thinking all week about the places in my life where I am standing “at the edge of my capacities.” In talking with my youngest sister last evening, I described feeling really uncomfortable as I recognize and wade into some murky problems that are difficult to solve. My sister, who knows me well, observed that I seem to be having an “oh crap” moment – and as usual, she is right!

Despite my uncertainty, I do not want to turn back. Instead, I want to venture to the edge of my capacities, because I believe that Jesus is standing there. I want to venture out of my comfort zone, where I “think” I have all the answers, because I long to know Jesus more deeply. I am tired of the places in my life where I am stuck because I am afraid. I want to embrace, as my friend described, “the wildness and goodness of this wonderful life.”

I want to go forward, into greater fullness with God and with Jesus.

I want that for you too, dear reader.  

Early this morning, I was thinking about the Bible scene where Adam and Eve are expelled from the Garden of Eden. I have read the Chapter in Genesis (Chapter 3) that describes this scene so many times. It’s easy to recognize the tragedy unfolding. We observe the power of doubt and fear to wreak havoc in our lives. We understand that evil is real and exists in the world. We witness the devastation that occurs when we choose to disobey God. We recognize the sense of loss that both humans and God experience when we separate from God.

However it’s easy to lose sight of the beauty of this scene. We witness the amazing and unbelievable gift of free will. We understand how much God cares for us, as we read how He stitches leathers to clothe Adam and Eve.

And we observe that no matter how we behave, God does not leave us. This last part is easy to miss. Look closely at the final verse of Chapter 3:

“When He [God] expelled the man, He settled him east of the Garden of Eden; and He stationed the cherubim and the fiery revolving sword, to guard the way to the tree of life.” Genesis 3: 24

This verse tells us that when God expels Adam and Eve from the Garden, He goes with them. I think it’s easy to miss this point – I missed it for a long time! But remember that Moses wrote the Book of Genesis. Moses had such a close relationship with God! Anytime he wanted, Moses could enter the meeting tent that housed the ark of the covenant, and have a personal, face-to-face encounter with God. (Exodus 33: 7-11)

Consider the precision of Moses’ choice of verbs in that final verse of Genesis Chapter 3:

“He settled him east of the Garden of Eden.” The action verb “settled” indicates that God very actively and directly helped Adam and Eve to find a place to live, outside the Garden.

Moses goes on to write: “And He stationed the cherubim and the fiery revolving sword, to guard the way to the tree of life.” Moses’ use of the word “stationed” indicates that God left the cherubim there on guard, so that He could go into the wilderness with Adam and Eve.

God has never intended that we should find ourselves alone at the edge of our capacities, and in despair. Rather, this single verse confirms that, from the beginning, God has desired to love us and to be with us – and that He is with us, here in the wilderness.

Jesus, through his life and death, confirms even more explicitly the desire of God to be with us:

“The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” John 1: 14

The wonder and depth of God’s love for us is truly magnificent.  

We are not alone, at the edge of our capacities. All is not lost, when we feel afraid and vulnerable. Jesus is standing there, waiting for each one of us to call for Him:

Please show me the way, Jesus. I do not know what to do. Take the gifts You have given me and show me how to use them more powerfully, and for Your Purpose. Lead me to the people in my world that You want me to love and make me not afraid to love them. Let me walk with you Lord, beyond the edge of my capacities, and into the life You have dreamed for me.

With Jesus, those places that may seem like endings are merely new beginnings.

God loves us so much.